Years ago I wished everyone “Happy Birthday”. Almost every day I would wish two or three people a happy birthday. Eventually I noticed that all the wishes were ignored and I stopped. I stopped because facebook went from being a place where we could connect, or reconnect, with friends that we had not talked with, for a year or two. When well wishes were ignored I stopped.
People got into the habit of saying “thanks for the wishes, everyone” and that was it. There was no attempt to reconnect, to get news of how things were going, of wanting to meet once again or anything else. It was just a hundred “happy birthdays” rewarded by one “thanks everyon”.
In such an environment wishing happy birthday has a cost. We make the effort, and it is ignored. Why have a reminder of birthdays if people don’t give a duck? At least some people block posts onto their wall so we can’t wish them well. This is more honest.
I think having multiple conversations throughout the year is more interesting. I don’t think we should wait for a birthday to speak with people. We should do it more often. We should do it when it’s not expected, when it has value. We should aknowledge people on the other 364 days per year.
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