The Instant Message Déluge

In the golden age of chatrooms and instant messaging there was a rule. Do not post more than two or three messages before waiting for an answer. I regularly broke this rule until at least two or three times I was told off for the deluge. From then on I posted two or three messages and waited for an answer before writing another post.

Alongside the habit of waiting for an answer after a post or two I also got into the habit of writing longer posts rather than short ones- If I have a more detailed thing to write I write a paragraph, maybe more. I prefer to send one long message than a dozen short ones.

I bring this up because years ago a friend would spam me with a dozen messages at a time and it’s tiring. I bring it up today because I got 30+ messages this morning when I woke up from one person. That’s a flood, and I have no desire to read it at 07:30, as I’m waking up. Would you? I write this as a textrovert who lives IMing.

Imagine if I wasn’t.

I bring up this rule, and this concept because it’s a rule I haven’t really had to worry about during the pandemic, but especially in recent years. Instant messaging has become more like SMS.

Whatscrapp Groups

Before the pandemic I was in a Whatsapp group where we had conversations based around being a social group that had a climbing nucleus. I was used to conversing, sharing projects and more and then an English twit tried to get a group to rise up against me so I dumped the group.

Since then I have seen GoSocial and other groups where only admins can post in some groups and where I barely post in others. We are in a really messed up age because we use Whatsapp despite it being bought by Facebook, but also because we don’t want to have IM conversations anymore. By “we” I of course mean “they”.

Solitde in the COVID Age

We are in a different age since 2020. We are in the COVID age. We are in an age of more flus, more respiratory diseases, more serious illnesses. We are in an age where it would be very easy for people with a cough to mask. People don’t.

In the Zeroes (2000s) Social Media was just emerging from Social Networks and we chatted so much, and so genuinely that online conversations could move offline without a beat. We were friends in “real life” before we met in person. That age is largely gone.

GoSocial should encourage online conversations that lead to strong friendships and possibly relationships after meeting in person.

A Missed Opportunity

For me, that whatsapp groups exist for GoSocial is frustrating because I don’t want to touch anything owned by Facebook, but also because what is the point of an instant messaging platform where we do not want to have conversations with people who signed up for an event?

We are not all extroverts, and some of us have deeper, less superficial conversations, that we would prefer to keep within a small group, rather than a large one. I really think we’re missing an opportunity to get to know people, by stigmatising online conversations.

And Finally

Typing Speed

I type fast, so for me writing a paragraph takes a few seconds, especially when I am sitting at a computer, so I can write a long single post. Other people hunt and peck, or write from their phones so they’re slower, and post more.

Lesson Learned

More than once I have been encouraged to write one or two messages, and wait. It’s a lesson that I live by now. It is rational to write one thing, and wait for an answer. It is as valid in a private conversation as in a group chat.

Conclusion

Instant messaging is for conversations, rather than monologues. It makes sense to pay attention to community standards in whatsapp groups and to netiquette when it comes to IM conversations between individuals.